Monday, June 24, 2013

Single & Married

Yvonne Nelson, Nadia Buari, Chris Attoh, Tana Adelana, Kofi Adjorlolo. 
Produced by: Yvonne Nelson

This movie tackles the age-old problem of cheating in marriages. It follows the lives of two sets of friends as they deal with marital problems. With a narrator who is more cynical about love than anyone else, the movie attempts to show that everyone has a part to play in the success, or the breakdown, of a marriage.

The movie was only an hour, 41 minutes long. The wardrobe (for the most part), production, music, and acting were on point. The film definitely had some important insight into what it takes to make a marriage work. It was kind of funny.

There were quite a few sex scenes, although to their credit no one’s nether regions were on display. The language is also vulgar at times if you’re not into that. Not all the story lines were wrapped up as neatly as others. There were some coincidences that were way too convenient. I didn’t agree with every piece of advice in the movie.

Overall {some spoilers ahead}: 
I actually enjoyed this movie, which meant a lot to me since I seemed to be on a roll with bad African movies. I found it funny in parts, I didn’t think the acting was overdone, and the use of a narrator helped to push the story forward comfortably without us having to see every single event. My biggest issue came from the advice that was given, mostly from the narrator – I couldn’t tell if it was being given seriously or if it was just because she was jaded by love. For instance, I don’t believe that men are predisposed to cheat because they are men. I have never bought that argument and I never will. Also, the story wrapped up a bit too neatly. It was fine for the overall message that you have to work hard to make a relationship successful, but there are so many more factors involved, especially when cheating is in the mix, that went ignored. Also, there were some opportunities for more dramatic scenes that were also largely ignored. All that aside though, I would recommend this movie. Take some of the morals preached with a grain of salt, but it is a nice movie. The humor definitely helps it.

Photo via

Monday, June 3, 2013

Compulsory Risk 1&2

Chidiebere and Chidinma Aneke (“Aneke Twins”), Van Vicker, Patience Ozokwor, Camilla Mbereke

 Martha and Mary are twin sisters whose relationship is put to the test when Mary marries Martha's boyfriend while her sister is away, successfully deceiving everyone, all in the name of helping her. What happens when everyone finds out the truth?

They were actual identical twins, not the same person playing two roles or two people who vaguely look alike. The premise is interesting. The acting was manageable on some fronts.

The story was rubbish – time that could have been used to flesh out the story was spent on nothing useful. Production had some suspect moments {SPOILER ALERT: The wedding scene involves “snapshots” of the wedding that were clearly paused video if the twitching was anything to go by}. 

Overall (some spoilers ahead): 
I was very disappointed because I saw where the story could have gone but for whatever reason, the writers decided to take the lazy way out. There were way too many coincidences and “how can” moments for it to be believable, and the conclusion was way too convenient. Why did neither Stanley nor Martha know the other’s whereabouts? Why the hell did Mary even take Martha’s spot in the first place? We’re told it was so the man wouldn’t run off with anyone else but that is just a load of nonsense. Personally, I don’t think this movie is worth the watch but if unlike me, you’re able to get past the lack of motivators and the plot holes, you might enjoy it.

Friday, May 24, 2013

Yankee Girls (Sequel: Return of Yankee Girls)

Yup! y'all know it! FOOOLISH movie! ... I am HIGHLY , nope scratch that, I am STUPENDOUSLY disappointed in the fact that reputable Nollywood celebrities have their names associated with this mess of a movie! Like WHY???

Honestly am not going to waste much time with this review  - this is gonna be a very basic review because ... well just because ... i do not wish to get carpal's tunnel over this mess. 

Starring: Omotola Jalade Ekeinde, Rita Dominic, Stella-Damascus, Emeka Nwafor, Uche Elendu, Uche Obodo

The movie revolves around the lives of two big girls battling for power and oil contracts. If there is more to this story then I missed it somehow because this mess had no true storyline smdh.

Car displays, acting wasn't bad.

Long (3 freaking hours) for no reason; no substance; grown ass women acting foolish; Omotola with all her big bum-bum and hips in this tight-ass, short-ass shorts while breaking the windshield of a Hummer with an ax (no am not kidding here); did I mention foolishly long? The scenes were legit meaningless and had no strong correlation - for instance which random person will take roadblocks to block off a major road in Lagos just because they want to show how powerful they are? and then who just pulls out a gun to shoot randomly in broad daylight and you are not a criminal or assassin or anything like that - seriously???

My thoughts:
Why 3 beautiful and reputable actresses would come together for this tomfoolery is beyond me. 1st of all why is this movie called "yankee girls" these bitches (no offense) didn't smell past Nigeria throughout this movie. They had some oyibo men (that are not fully oyibo, am pretty sure they are Lebanese people) in the movie and homeboys couldn't even act to save their lives  (no wonder they migrated to Nollywood, they know Hollywood would have castrated them).

Big-ass capital NO!!! Hell NO! Or else of course you are someone that likes to murder your brain cells for the fun of it - then go right ahead and knock yourself out. 

Choi! the time I wasted to watch this mess - e still dey pain me sote #sigh